A Year has Passed....

I pull the shroud of sadness snug over my shoulders one more night. One more night I let it probe me, touch me, try to destroy and devastate me.

Experiencing an incredible deep melancholy, black and dark and deploring this year.

But then there are those moments. There are those flickering diamonds in the grass early in the morning when the day is cool and new. There are those moments of extreme hope and feeling the goodness of some people. They are out there. There are deeply caring, genuine and real creatures. There are creatures so full of love and compassion and selflessness they make one believe in something undefined, but very special. We want to surround ourselves with those people. We want to BE one of those people.

There are those moments, when it feels like those we have lost send us signs. Signs we have to be good and open, to receive and to see. Like when a single, lone turkey runs out on the dirt road in front of us, alone and in advance of Turkey season, a loved ones favorite time of year. Or when we beg for you to stop the rain, just for a second so we can make it home safely, and it suddenly stops raining just for a second. Or when the yellow rose you planted for Mom, blooms red on Mother’s Day. How can we ignore those special moments sent to us?

Mostly there is also the realization and acceptance that we are alone. And it is okay that we are alone. And in our being alone, we try to find our own good, our own internal love and deep spirituality. We know that this is what sustains us. Faith that everything is going somewhere, that life is constant and continuous. We experience faith and hope that we are all energy, and that we will continue our journey together one day. And that journey will be without shrouds, and without great sadness, without loss, without grief. Our continuing journey will be without pain.

But for tonight, on the eve of a great loss, I am allowed to pull the shroud of sadness over myself once more. I pour salt on this wound, and I touch this terrible hole that is my heart. A hole that cannot be filled that was left last year, at 1:36 am on June 15th, 2011 when you went on without us. You continued your journey and we stayed behind, alone.

June 15th is forever a day to honor your travels, and mourn our loss, and contemplate being alone. And then to move ahead and consider our looming journey.

We miss you every single day, and we love you for the rest of our lives...it's as simple as that.

Another Day without You-

The Teresa Carol Kennedy Memorial

In Honor of Teresa Carol Kennedy

A Memory-

It was Teresa’s first visit to the Palliative Care Unit at Harris Methodist. She was in so much pain, and this visit was to help her get a handle on the pain, and help control it. The first night I stayed with her, she wanted to shower. We tried that, but it was a frightening experience as it was hard for her to stand, and even more challenging to maneuver a shower chair. The second night, her compassionate nurse Jennifer asked if we were familiar with the bathing room. She took both of us over to see it, and Terri said “sure, I am game…let’s try it”. The bathing room in the Palliative Unit at Harris is quite a jewel for those suffering and in pain. It is a respite. The nursing staff assists the patient prepare for their bathing experience with dignity and draping, they help the patient recline on a lift, the lift is raised and the jetted tub rises to submerge the patient. The raised tub allows good ergonomics for those assisting with the bath.

Once Teresa was submerged in bubbles, she said “Wow, now what do I do?” The staff chuckled and told her to relax and enjoy her bath. She quipped back, “All we need are some candles and some music.” Jennifer went and got her i-pod and tiny speakers and set it up for Terri. She enjoyed it, but when Jennifer left the room Teresa said flatly, “This place really needs a sound system.”

That event inspires this event:

A Memoriam in the name of Teresa Carol Kennedy has been set up at Texas Health Harris Methodist Foundation to fund a sound system in their bathing room.

Contact is Laura McWhorter, at 817-317-5235. lauramcwhorter@texashealth.org
Donations may be made to: Texas Health Harris Methodist Foundation
6100 Western Place
Suite 1001
Fort Worth, Texas 76107

Indicate that the donation is to benefit the Teresa Carol Kennedy Memoriam-the sound system in the bathing Unit at the Palliative Unit in Fort Worth.

Online donations may be made at:

http://www.texashealth.org/giving

Select the support us button, find the dialogue box labeled:
Designate my gift to the following fund or project: Indicate the Palliative Bathing Room Sound System (Fort Worth)
Find the dialogue box labeled: In memory of : Indicate Teresa Carol Kennedy

Thank You, Teresa will be honored.

Returning to Normal-

It feels like my tenacious grip on LIFE is returning. Some stress is subsiding and the world is looking brighter. Beginning to dig out from under the piles of rubble, clutter and stress. The world might look pretty good out here. One of my primary reasons for escaping the 8-5 is to spend more quality time with family. So it begins! WooHoo! Add yesterday to the Great Days to Remember list...and add an image!

Today is the First Day of...

Remember that old saying? Today is the first day of the rest of your life? I guess that is where I am at in LIFE. It's hard to believe. My last post said I was taking a break. Well, Life has been kind of breaking me. But I am back. In September, there was a life-changing catastrophic event in my life. My step-dad had an accident, and it was touch-and-go for many months. Just about the time he was recovering in December, my little sister discovered her catastrophic event in life...and yes, folks, CANCER SUCKS. So, all of these events have led me to some decisions, and I am finding ways to spend more time with those I love, and with the things I love. So I am indeed back- back to blogging with this next great adventure. This is my first day of Retirement from the Great State of Texas. I must now find my way, a new way. We'll be starting with this catastrophe that used to be my home Studio. What you see above shows the organizational challenge in front of me. In the meantime- there are WEEDS to pull!

I've been taking a little break, or have I been a bit too lazy? Sometimes I wonder why I do not get as much done as I used to. It seems like the world has accelerated forward and I have moving slowly backwards. It is disappointing, but I will keep trying- just like in morning Boot Camp, I try to get a wee bit faster daily, just a little bit of an acceleration helps. Life is very busy, there are events occurring every weekend now until November. How could that be? Then there is teaching, and that infamous day job. Pending events are new exhibits...this weekend at Milagros, I have gathered all of those Hot Air Balloon Painting. Then there is the Exhibition Opportunity at the Fort Worth Arts Center in October- I think a few pieces from the Bench series will work nicely there. And finally, in November- it is time for another exhibit at the Farmers and Merchants Gallery in Pilot Point. This will be the newest works- the "Quitaque Gals of Caprock Canyon". Tonight's hosted painting is one of the most recent works from this series.

Beaver Tail Lighthouse

Really, that was its name. It was beautiful, on a little island while I worked up the nerve to drive over a big, scary bridge. An outstanding little diversion, all quite by accident. Painted as Oil on a canvas panel.

Blue Trees Thursday

Went out of town, got back tired and worn out, but mentally rested. So tonight will be another rapid post. A pastel rendering of the Blue Trees.

Artistic Evening

Tonight Dan and I attended the opening event with her original art, at the Johnny Carino's restaurant for Carol Henry. That was a fun and delicious evening event. Now I am satisfied from a delicious dinner, and I need some sleep soon...but quickly...it is a posting of an Azalea's pastel.

Almost time for Golden Aspens

Yes, it's almost time to make a run North to capture the visual stimulation that comes with the changing of colors of the Aspen groves. This is a quick post tonight because it was the first night of class - that Computer Course I am teaching. It is going to be a fun and enriching semester.

ASH or Austin State Hospital

Taking a few days from the day job to reconnect with my Artistic self. Doing the big Art Shuffle, moving paintings from one location to another. Sure wish some of the paintings would begin to be in demand and a few SALES would happen. Maybe a rearrangement and changing placement will help. I finished one painting in the "Quitaque Gals in Caprock Canyon" Series today. It feels so right. I know that is where I am supposed to be - in the Studio. I belong there. All of these other items are just distractions. Maybe that is what LIFE is all about, learning to discern the distractions.
Tonight's painting is another from the Landscape series from one of my working journey's to Austin. It's only a 5x7" Oil rendering of a building on the grounds of Austin State Hospital.

Dallas Arboretum Pastel- Thursday Night

Whew. Lots of meetings this week, and then some disappointing news, and another funeral to attend. Life is kind of harsh sometimes. The good news is I am back on the roster as an ADJUNCT at our local Community College - I'll be teaching about computers again, on Tuesday night. I need to move into teaching some ART too. Loving the opportunities, but it means more work! Still as part of the big master plan, it is all good. Tonight's painting is a Pastel work from the Dallas Arboretum. Tomorrow I head into Fort Worth to wish Mamacita a Happy Birthday, and a check on the lil sis who is not doing so well health wise. Busy world, busy life. I love this life, don't you?

The Red Roof

Another striking pastel of a lovely home in Annapolis, Maryland. A home with a red roof. This is a pastel rendering on illustration board. Woah, it is late and I am tired, so I guess this is all I have to say about it. Oh, except I am hoping to take some more days off next week...days to PAINT! Days to pretend I am living my dream.

The Bench Series Ends where it Began

Tonight's painting was the first in the Bench Series. It is called "Cool Morning Light". When I created this painting, it was like a light bulb went off concerning working thematically. I have enjoyed the unity and structure of working this plan. There are still several themes I wish to explore before my ticket gets punched. Guess I better get busier.
Hard to do after a day job that is mind-numbing and keeps one busy as a cat with a long tail in a room full of rocking chairs.

August is the Hottest Month

And sometimes it seems like the most sad month too. We lost a friend this month. It just underscores the brevity and sanctity that is life. After the numbness and sadness stopped jangling the nerves, some small things got done. That is the way life is - we go on until we leave for that next great and mysterious journey.
I guess I am going to hide all of the following phrases in the great big painting on the easel right now. You think about it - do they all mean the same thing? "It is what it is, A matter of Fate, It's chance, Que Garne, It's destiny, are you in the right place at the right time?, Everything is going somewhere, All that begins must end..." These are words to be hidden in the painting titled "Blue Chair". The painting that eludes me tonight.
Tonight's listing, however, is a study for a part of the Bench Series called "Spectrum". Spectrum because of the rich, wide range of color.
Tomorrow I will talk about the good parts of this weekend. That would be hanging out at Mecca on Main, and reorganizing the space. I shot some photo's as I left, and will add those to this blog.

Finished Commission-Waiting to Dry

Three new works, that took far too long because of far too many interruptions. Tonight we impatiently await for them to dry so they can be shipped to their most patient patrons! I wish I could see their face when they review these newest images of the originals.
Did you know you could have your own original? Now is the time to order, well before Christmas. All it takes is an email, small deposit and a high quality image of your precious pet.

Another Week as Time Slips on By

Some days it is harder than others not to get discouraged. I think that means that I did not do enough for someone else today, or I did not create something new today. We have to move outside of our world and our personal demands in order to push past our daily pains and worries. Getting out of that bubble is a requirement to be whole. This is why painting, drawing and creating work well to ward off our discouragement. Creating steps us outside of our world, and humbly presents our personal vision. This weekend was purposeful and much was accomplished. There are two small works developing nicely on the easel, and there are two dog portraits drying and soon to ship.
But for today, since 4:30am comes so early, this day is about done- and tonight's painting is a study called Sentries. Two wonderful chairs in the woods, more places to emotionally and mentally rest.

Another Place to Rest-In the Fall

I need to go back and visit the Dallas Arboretum -where this is painted from. It is HIGH Summer right now. I have done Spring and Fall, I need to do the intense seasons- Summer and Winter. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this evening's post and that it brings you a place to mentally rest. This is a 5x7" original Oil.

Another Place to Rest Midweek

Another hasty posting as the week goes on. This is another small oil in the bench painting series.

Awesome Opening Night at Oxide

WOW! This was a great fun night! An opening at the Oxide Gallery in Denton. Lots of family and lots of friends. Beautiful! Quick posting tonight...as it ended up being a late night, and tomorrow morning comes nice and early. Tonight's posting we have another in the Bench Series.